First couple weeks of dating

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Maybe I’m being old fashioned and just plain unrealistic to think that I should wait for someone who’s actually interested enough to want to chase me, who knows for certain from the out that they want a relationship with me – and who doesn’t need talking into the bloody thing.

Or maybe I’m just particularly unlucky when it comes to men.

Invariably if the person I’m speaking to has been single at any point in the last decade, then yes, they know exactly what I mean, because if there’s one scenario that’s become endemic amongst myself and my peers, it’s our inability to define a relationship after the first five or six dates. Is it too soon to refer to someone as your boyfriend? If you’ve been on 12 dates with someone, you really don’t still want to be seeing other people do you?

But if you’re not seeing anyone else, and you’re seeing a lot of each other what on earth is it if it’s not a relationship?

A survey carried out last year by dating website ‘Seeking Arrangements’ found that most couples tend to say ‘I love you’ after 14 dates – or seven weeks (the average number of dates per week was two).

Similarly, most new couples introduced each other to friends for the first time after six dates or three weeks, and that people are most likely to introduce their new boy or girlfriend to their parents after 12 dates or six weeks.

If you only knew a few details about the company you were investing in, you'd probably decide not to invest in it. If you like the person and want to get to know them better, you have no choice but to proceed.

The stakes feel so high because you can end up attaching pretty quickly to someone new, even though you don't know that person well enough to know if it's truly safe to trust him or her.

That’s like being awarded a relationship through squatter’s rights.I’m not judging – I can see how easy it is to get into that situation.Earlier this year, The New York Times published an article called “The End of Courtship?One friend (who wishes to remain anonymous lest her non-boyfriend reads this) explains: “I’ve been seeing this guy for four months now – we’re dating and see each other a couple of times a week.However, if anyone refers to me as his girlfriend in front of him, the colour drains from his face.

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