Christian dating controlling relationships

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He had so beaten his wife down with his arguing, intensity, and sense of self-righteousness that she had long since come to believe herself invalid.

The reason they came to us for help was that she had finally reached a point of absolute rebellion.

If their partner does not act as they wish, they bring about some type of punishment. It can be emotional, mental, financial, sexual, or more.

When the other person complies, a morsel of enjoyment comes their way, perhaps by the opposite of the method used to punish.

He felt she controlled because she had reached the point where she would react with anger rather than yielding.

He did not get what he had always gotten when he overpowered her with his intensity of argument. When she fought back, though in private, he was convinced that no one could be married to a shrew such as she.

Therefore, in public, she was a docile, fearful individual who could not look other people in the eye.

She could fight him in private because she was full of resentment, but inside she feared that she really was inferior.

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Maybe others do for a while, but finally have enough and fight back.

For example, a woman may try to control her husband by withholding sexual favor when he does not do as she wishes, and giving him sexual pleasure when he does.

A man may try to control his wife by controlling the finances in the home, punishing and rewarding based on whether she ignores or complies with his wishes. Some individuals bicker and argue until their lover gives in and agrees to some point of thought.

Two things happened to help him understand that he was the controller and not his wife.

First, other people in their marriage workshop reached out to her and validated her as a human being with value and worth. Perhaps that was the first time she had had such direct validation in years. Strength turned her anger into confidence and resolve.

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