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There appears to be an “unspoken” rule or “girl code” when it comes to dating a friend’s ex.As Certified Relationship Coaches, we often get an inbox on our website asking us for the politically correct answer, what are the rules?Your ex may say she’s fine with it because otherwise she has to say no, look petty, and fight with both you and her friend. Sometimes you have to walk it in someone else’s shoes.(What kind of friend says she’s interested in her friend’s ex, anyway? The straight woman’s perspective: Rebecca Brown For God’s sake, man, have you been awake, alive, or attentive on this planet—like EVER?

The gay man’s perspective: Darren Maddox First of all, if she’s interested in you, let her ask you out!She’s got a friend I’ve always found really attractive, and recently the friend mentioned to my ex-girlfriend that she’s interested in me too.My ex says she’s okay with it if we go out, but a couple of my girl friends tell me that I shouldn’t even consider asking her out, no matter what my ex-girlfriend says, so I’m not sure what to do. —TM, Los Angeles, California The straight man’s perspective: Chris Kennedy I’m not a big believer in having a lot of dating rules, but I do hold true to the Golden Dating Rule—do unto significant others as you’d have done to you. Not literally—I’m not recommending fetishes—but see things from her perspective on this.Is it ok if you met your friend’s ex a certain number of years after the initial relationship or is it just completely off limits for life?We feel the rules may vary and each situation is different but here is a guideline that may help you determine if it’s safe to proceed.

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