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“It made me feel like I was his last choice, and I finally decided that anyone, especially a friend, shouldn’t be making me feel that way.I got really frustrated, and eventually we just went back to being friends.” If you were friends before you started hooking up and suddenly you only hear from him or her after 1 a.m, you’re being treated more like a booty call than a FWB.“We had agreed that we wouldn’t be anything more serious than what we were doing, which was hooking up casually on weekends and hanging out with our friend group during the day, but one night, I saw him hooking up with another girl and started crying.I knew I was more invested in him than I expected to be and that he didn’t want anything more, so we decided to just go back to being friends.” Do you consider a FWB situation to mean you talk or text more than normal? Your partner may think that a FWB means you hook up frequently, while you may see it as a once-in-a-while deal.However, you’re scared that if you stop, your friendship might stop, too.This is a problem many collegiettes face when they enter a FWB situation.Even if hooking up isn’t necessarily hurting your friendship, if one of you holds significantly more power over the mechanics of this FWB situation, it’s not a healthy relationship.“When it is based on his [or her] terms, it is never going to work,” says dating coach David Wygant.

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“When a friend and I started hooking up consistently, I thought that it would be casual because he told me he wasn’t interested in anything more, and I wasn’t either,” says Mary, a junior at the University of Maryland.

While it’s not exactly fun to see a recent hook-up out with another girl, if you find that hearing about your FWB’s late nights with someone else is affecting your own relationship with him or her or even affecting your self-esteem, it may mean you want something more than the casual label you currently have.

“During my sophomore year, I started hooking up with someone I had been friends with for a while,” says Anna, a senior at the University of Delaware.

Soon he started only texting me at night, and we never hung out during the day anymore.

When I finally confronted him about it, he said he didn’t want me to get the wrong idea about what he wanted.” If the hook-up is truly casual, then it shouldn’t disrupt the friendship you had beforehand in a negative way.

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