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Now it feels suspiciously like hard work; there are ignored emails, forced follow-ups, awkward notes, more ignored emails, throwing in the towel, starting over.And, since this is all long before you meet a real person for a real date in real life, when those hours of browsing and clicking can be undone by one in-person minute, frustrated users are asking a new question: Is this whole system an exercise in futility?Needless to say, the online dating market is increasingly fierce.In an effort to stay hip with its customers, even Lavalife is relaunching.

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A recent survey by Beautiful, online dating for beautiful people only, found more than half of online daters lie — or tell selective truths, exaggerate, or fall victim to wishful thinking (hence the beauties-only screening process).Take, for example, Ok Cupid, which was founded by Harvard math majors in 2004.Instead of just clicking boxes of “ideal mate preferences” — which a study from Northwestern University found don’t reflect desire much anyhow — expect to answer 350 questions that require various levels of soul-searching: Do you believe in monogamy?“Her list described me so perfectly, it was almost psychic,” he wrote. “Algorithms can mathematically continue to become more precise in terms of connecting like-minded and similar people,” says Amarnath Thombre, president of, “but there will always be magic to love.” Match uses 1,500 parameters in a “love equation” with a feedback mechanism that self-corrects based on your ratings and feedback.So “the more you rate, the better you date,” he says.

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