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If that’s your personal Achilles’ heel, it might be worth exploring why that is so.

If there’s no weird deal-breaker, perhaps “you are simply commitment-phobic,” she adds.

I’ve also noticed that she’s happiest when she’s dating a couple of people at once.

This has changed now that she has started seeing someone she really likes, but until recently, I encouraged her to keep seeing this other, duddier guy throughout, just so she wouldn’t concentrate all of her anxieties on one dude.

I asked her why distraction works so well, and why we are so much better at not freaking out about dating when we have a couple irons in the fire, even if neither of them is actually viable.

“When a woman dates more than one person at a time, she is less vulnerable because, should something go wrong with any one relationship, she can fall back on another,” says Levine.

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